The Waiting Game…HELP!

Here I am. Over 24 hours since I’ve heard from Prince Charming. I even tried to play it cool and send a text last night about the Breaking Bad finale. No response. Oh but he tweeted and posted on Instagram.  Then about half an hour ago I did what I was trying so hard not to do- the “Hi.” text. We all know what that means: Helloooo remember me ya know the girl you spent the weekend with?!

Ugh. I just don’t know what to do. Obviously that should be MY last attempt to contact HIM right? Or do I try to call tonight? I feel like I’ve made enough of an attempt at this point and I shouldn’t have really been the one to contact him in the first place after our romantic getaway date #2 considering the “old fashioned gentleman” he appears to be. 

I wouldn’t be freaking out if this was someone local and it just didn’t work. But it was totally working. The confusing part is WHY did he spend SO MUCH MONEY on someone he barely knows and why did he say- wait for it…. “I Love You” BEFORE we met. Who goes through all of this for a girl to just never call her again.

I know, I know- it’s only been a day and he’s probably been at work since 8am and will be on set directing until probably midnight this week while he’s shooting. And if we had plans to see each other again I wouldn’t be freaking out. I know I’m being obsessive but I’d rather blog about it than be about it TO HIM. But honestly- what DO I DO? Comments are welcome…actually encouraged. What would you do in this situation? Wait around? And for how long? Or continue to pursue dating others?! HELP! PLEASE!

On a lighter note- I experienced violet and blue hair chalk today. It was a LOT of fun and looks really cool. 

We Met!! Love At First Tweet Pt. 2

You’ll have to read my recent post “Love At First Tweet” for the backstory, but me and this man met! 

It was the most exciting date I’ve ever been on. But me and my worrisome self- had all sorts of emotions pacing thru my mind before he flew into Philadelphia…

Is he for real? Is it someone else? Is he even going to come? What if he doesn’t like me? What if I don’t like him? What if he doesn’t look like his pictures? What if he isn’t as nice in person?….and so on…

We went to Vetri (amazing). Google it, and definitely make a reservation! (They get booked up to two months). Everything was delicious- and he calls himself a “foodie” so he loved it. I’m not used to guys taking me to fancy restaurants so I was so nervous. And even though the portions are small and the courses are spaced apart- I still was full half way through haha. Also, go with someone you can spend 3 hours with (another thing I was nervous about)! But it was awesome and I didn’t want the night to end.

He was exactly the person in his photos. He was charming and polite just like on the phone. He didn’t disappoint at all. It was the best date I’ve ever had…

The next day he came to film my live show I had. It was somewhat strange to go from “date vibe” to “professional” but we both had to do it. Which of course confuses the heck out of an already confused girl like myself! 

Now we are in the gray area- where I worry some more-

What are we? We’ve been talking for over a month- only met in person these two days. I know, I know, take it day by day…but I’m not patient. He “said” he’d fly me to his filming location but since I’m on crutches right now he said he would fly back to Philly this weekend. What if he never comes back? What if he realizes he’s too busy for this? What if it doesn’t work? Am I playing it cool enough or is he the type of person that likes a girl initiating conversation and if she doesn’t he thinks she’s not into him!?

It’s worthless to overanalyze it. I mean I don’t hear from my best friends for days at a time or family because they’re busy and I’m not like OH NO. Sigh- guess I’m just ready to be in a relationship, and I hate not knowing where this is headed. 

If we are meant to be together, it’ll happen. And I think I had to get all this out to realize that. Because I haven’t been able to stop worrying. I’m not calling him unless he tells me to (he’s extremely busy) and whenever we talk he seems absolutely into me. His overwhelming schedule while I’m at home recovering and time passes so slowly is when I get inside my head too much. 

Now it’s time to be patient. I’m happy we met, no matter what happens- there are no regrets. 

Love At First Tweet

It feels good to be blogging again. A DVT blood clot that didn’t clear up set me back by about 2 and 1/2 weeks and I was hospitalized again. And ever since that happened I think I’ve been in love. My spirits have been so high and thanks to that someone I’m recovering quicker than I usually would- for I’m unusually happy.

Thats right- love at first tweet.

I have no clue how this will pan out, and my friends and parents are looking at me like I’m absolutely crazy. But they say when you stop looking for love, it comes when you least expect it. I stopped online dating and decided to give it a rest.  Apparently that’s what happened to both me and this guy as well. And all thanks to Twitter he found me. He’s a well known director and somehow found me as a fan of my music.

The day I was admitted I was sent the most gorgeous bouquet of pink and yellow roses, Iris, and Lilies. A “get well soon” balloon, a card, a teddy bear, and a box of delicious chocolates. So thoughtful of him. I immediately got excited about the idea of being him- but wasn’t sure if he was looking for something.

He’s a traveler due to his job. I’m in the suburbs of Philly, and his home is in Los Angeles. He’s barely there though, just in the next few months he will be in LA, NYC, New Orleans, Charleston, Atlanta, and somewhere in Alabama.  Being a musician, I’m perfectly okay with this schedule as long as there’s communication. Which so far, we’ve spoken on the phone for 4 hours every night so far. 

We speak of ridiculous things. Or as he often says- “silly”. He’s coming into town this weekend for our first date where he chose a 5 star restaurant (pressure…) and coming to my concert. He even offered to film it for me. Then he wants me to come visit him for a weekend in a city of my choice the second week of October. In November we are going to Maui for his birthday. He even brought up Valentine’s Day in NYC. CRAZY right? We haven’t even met. I got a belated birthday gift package at my house today. He said he thought I could use it for my music. A brand new huge MacBook Pro. Insane. 

I’m so not used to this. I’m not used to nice guys with the same ambitions as me and that have steady work and I’m used to paying for everything and not at all used to gifts. Especially expensive ones. It’s going to be a change. Ahhhhhhh.

All the fancy things aside- we are so much alike it’s unreal. We have the same ambitions (except his are in film mine are in music) and we are perfectly okay with ridiculous schedules and knowing we may only see each other once month and supportive of each other and constantly assuring one another that they’ll make it to the top and to never look down or stop working. It’s amazing. And he’s caring. And not a drug addict or alcoholic or scum bag. It’s a breath of fresh air considering my previous awful taste in men.

If it weren’t for the ridiculous technological advances and for the rise of social media, he would have never found me. I think we’ve both stalked enough about each other online to make sure he’s actually talking to me and vice versa. But I still am nervous I won’t actually get to meet him.

Let’s hope this is for real and not a future Catfish episode.

Until next time…God bless! 

I Havent Even Met You Yet.

Here we are. We “met” online a couple weeks ago. Terrible timing. A couple days before a hospitalization due to a blood clot. Seemed like we got along great. I figured- I wasn’t going to meet him straight away so recovery time at home would be a good chance to get to know each other via online, phone, etc.
He seemed sweet. Dropped off a card and flowers at the nurse’s station for me when I was there. But then it began. Since I didn’t know him I couldn’t comprehend the context of his text messages any longer. He deleted his online profile while I kept mine. He said “I should probably ask you if you have any other dates lined up?” I replied with “No, I can’t even leave the house yet. But even if I was actively dating, I wouldn’t have asked that question until we met or at least hit it off.” I mean really- he can’t claim me.
He seems so cut and dry. I’m not a drinker, but I used to smoke and sometimes do if I feel anxious at a bar. A “social smoker” once a month if you will. He “drinks socially” according to his profile. I’m scared of dating someone that drinks due to a bad curse of dating closet addicts that were abusive in all ways possible. Anyways, he said to me no longer smoking, “Good. That would’ve been a deal breaker right there.” And I said “Well I don’t like drinkers but I’m not judging you…” He didn’t really say much to that.
Then I started being “that girl”- maybe it was because I felt like he was acting like a past boyfriend in terms of “my way or the highway”- why hasn’t he called? he had contacted me so much! Am I guilty for still talking to other guys online? I don’t get his sarcasm…or is he being serious?
The calls. They drive me nuts. If I don’t answer when he calls he thinks I’m uninterested- so likely vice versa. It’s always around his schedule. He calls when he’s not busy. I call- and if he is busy- I text to let him know I called and he said “I know I’m with my buddy ill be free at (time)”. But then he doesn’t call. Was I supposed to call him? Was he supposed to return my call?
The texts are stupid. Meaningless conversation. I have better times talking to my cats. All he says is “what’s up?” Or “what are you doing”. He still wants to meet but we aren’t getting to know each other at all. Or maybe this is all about him, and he simply doesn’t give a damn about getting to know me.
I haven’t met him- so why do I care or feel the need to try? I think I’ll keep looking…even if he doesn’t like it.

Growing Pains

Everyone around me is settling down. I was always the one that jumped from relationship to relationship. Then I realized “maybe I should take some time to find myself” and so I did. Then I dated an awful person I should have dumped way sooner than I did, Then I dated someone older. As a matter of fact, way older- almost 20 years older. He had his scars like all of us do, and I desperately wanted him to fall in love with me.

But timing is everything. The thing is- as my absolute last one of my girlfriends I grew up with is about to settle down…there is no way to change how life is speeding up and I somehow don’t feel my age. But I know, once I find someone again I’ll feel relatively normal. But nothing will change how much I miss “girl time”.